Tombstone Tuesday ~ Elmer Eugene Clarke

Elmer Eugene Clarke was my 2nd great-grandfather's younger brother.

He was born in Funkstown, Washington County, Maryland December 3rd, 1865.

Elmer and two (or more) of his brothers relocated to Chicago where he met and married Susan Berg. Together they had 10 children; Lyman, Clifford, Zora, Elmer Jr., Stella, Edna, Alice, Eloise, Irma, and Dorothy.

From the November 19, 1952 edition of the Chicago Daily News, page 55; CLARKE - Elmer E, Clarke Sr., Nov. 18, dear husband of Susan, fond father of Zora Blake, Stella Rudolph, Edna Hanson, Alice Jenkinson, Eloise York, Irma Froberg, Dorothy Thompson, Clifford M., Elmer E. Jr., and the late Lyman John Clarke. Services Friday Nov. 21, 2 p.m., at funeral home 301 S. 5th-av., at Maple-st., Maywood. Interment Arlington Cemetery. FIlmore 4-0100.

A special thank you to Grandson #3 for locating the headstone above after we walked and re-walked all the likely rows in Section 11 at Arlington Cemetery. And for his cheerful willingness to help Grandma fill Find A Grave requests while we were there.

Scraps of Family History

A pile of books about family history scrapbooking waits patiently on my desk. I've become obsessed with creating a written and photographic record for my descendants.

What a celebration there would be if I discovered a diary written by my great-great grandmother! Or a photo album compiled by a long lost great-aunt. Heck, I'd be happy to see brief notes my ancestors had written to one another, wouldn't you?

The books I'm reading encourage me to start by preserving one story, one event, or one photo and the tale it tells. How excited I would be if any one of my ancestors had done this for me!

Some stories are in the here and now; the first big snow of 2010 with pictures taken while running from falling tree branches. Others are in the past; tales of a much beloved pet who now resides in cat heaven. The one I'll share today spans the past, the present and possibly the future.

When I was a kid we had a 20 foot flagpole in our front yard. My dad was uncompromising about the care of the flag that flew from sun up to sundown everyday. In the morning, one of my sisters or I would hold one end of the flag while Daddy hooked it to the cord and raised it by a pulley. In the evenings we would lower the flag and fold it width-wise twice. Then starting at the striped end, we made a triangle fold 13 times, one for each colony.

My parents divorced and my mother had the flagpole removed. Folding the flag was relegated to Girl Scouts and parades, until last month when my dad was laid to rest at Fort Snelling National Cemetery.

Uniformed volunteers folded the flag that had been draped over Daddy's casket. With a 'thank you' for the service my father gave his country, they placed the flag in my stepmother's hands. Pastor said a few more words and the crowd started to thin. In a moment of immeasurable generosity, my stepmom turned to me and said, "You should have this." Then she handed me the flag. And returned the memory of my dad holding his end as we moved closer to each other with every fold.

Today the framed flag resides next to a photo of more than a hundred uniformed men, one of whom is my husband's late father. The stories of our veteran dads have merged and will be told to our grandchildren as one. The future will tell which of them will take ownership of the treasures and the stories. Perhaps the first to erect a flagpole in their front yard.

Silver Linings

Despite my advancing years, my father was always Daddy to me. My evening commute was often spent visiting with him on my cell phone. Every conversation included hearty laughter on both sides of the line. I miss that the most.

The compassion shared by others has been overwhelming. There aren't words enough to thank everyone who reached out with comforting thoughts and more. Your kind words and deeds helped in many ways.

A dear friend of mine refers to this type of experience as an AFGO; "another flippin' growth opportunity". In that spirit, here's what I've learned:

Every family needs an active genealogist. All eyes turned to me when the funeral director asked about names, places and dates. I wrote Daddy's obituary for the living as well as for his great-great-great grandchildren.

Every genealogist must interview his or her own family members. The tapes on which my dad talked about his life are among my most precious possessions.

Every grief-stricken child needs a clear-thinking genealogist to lean on. My husband is my hero. He was the genealogist I couldn't be in those first few action-packed days; locating another source for Army discharge papers, assembling groups of relatives for photographs, gathering printed materials for Daddy's genealogy file, and so much more.

Every picture tells a story. I looked through hundreds of photographs while preparing a memory board for my dad's church service. And I realized how quickly our stories can be lost if they aren't written down for the next generation.

So as part of my healing process, this genealogist is also becoming a scrapbooker. I attended my first workshop last night. The scrapbook I'm creating is filled with mementos and pictures of a handsome young man named Bill.

To Daddy, with love

William Edwin Mueller

October 25, 1931 ~ October 18, 2010

One week prior to his 79th birthday, William E. Mueller, Barron, Wisc., died at his home with his beloved wife Harriet May (Anderson) at his side. The couple was married for 38 years and lived in Barron for the last 10 years.

William was born in Chicago October 25, 1931 to Frances Lois (Mangels) and Harold Clarke Mueller. At 17, he joined the U.S. Army and served as an infantry unit auto mechanic. His most significant assignment was at Battery D 71st AAA Gun Battalion at Fort Belvoir, Virginia.

William's love of cars became his career, working first at auto dealerships and then owning several auto body shops in Chicago.

Surviving are daughters Laura Aanenson (Gregory), Lizabeth Chocian (Scott), Lana Gruber (James), LouAnn Mueller, and Victoria Bray (Terrence); 15 grandchildren; 10 great-grandchildren; many nieces and nephews; sisters Janice Stetz and Karen Brenke; and brothers Ernie Mueller (Kylene), Alexander (Barbara) and Robert E. Brenke Jr.

William was preceded in death by his parents Robert and Frances Brenke, sister Lois Cuevas, and daughter Patricia Mueller.

Services will be held at 11 a.m. Monday, Oct. 25, from Salem Lutheran Church, Barron. William will be laid to rest at Fort Snelling National Cemetery, Minneapolis.

12 Step Program for Genealogists

Child #2 tells me I am a genealogy addict. I counter with my attendance of meetings, ostensibly looking for a cure. Child patiently explains the concept of 12 step programs; they are supposed to help one kick a habit, not provide another fix.

After some thought, I developed my own 12 Step Program. Rather than looking for a "cure", it focuses on encouraging my family to help me find just one more ancestor.

Step 1: When dinner conversation turns to county boundary changes (after nonchalantly steering the family in this direction), share no more than two stories of ancestors impacted by the change.

Step 2: If asked who the new baby looks like, answer using only the names of same-gender ancestors. Share photos when your opinion is met with rolling eyes.

Step 3: Offer to help with grandchildren's homework, especially history and geography. Casually include information about ancestors who lived in these times and places. Stop talking when you hear your children's footsteps.

Step 4: Discreetly include photos of ancestors in baby books, holiday photo albums etc. Act surprised when your children point out the impossibilty of a Revolutionary soldier at last Thanksgiving's dinner.

Step 5: Carry important papers everywhere. One never knows when a 1910 census will come in handy during a lull in the conversation.

Step 6: Make copies of family group sheets and "forget" one every time you visit.

Step 7: Plan vacations that coincidentally (how was I to know?) include the final resting places of ancestors.

Step 8: Help with the purchase of new school clothes for the grandkids. Authentic period costumes can be found on many web sites.

Step 9: Ask everyone, everywhere, about their ethnic origin. When in the company of children and grandchildren, prompt them to share theirs with store clerks, softball coaches, postal employees, directory assistance operators...

Step 10: While at the corner market, point out the simplicity of purchasing food in "these modern times". Tell stories of ancestors carrying shotguns into a nearby forest to shop for the evening meal.

Step 11: Offer to drive the grandkids home from school. Take a different route each time so those cemetery visits don't seem redundant.

Step 12: Take steps to create lifelong addicts genealogists in the next few generations. Openly share your love of family history with the family who is creating their own history today.